Lets start with some of our own red flags

• Walls: Every time we are hurt, we tend to put walls up. This is considered to be more of a masculine trait since this means we are trying to build a barrier of protection for ourselves. Protection being a trait that a masculine man provides. Now keep in mind, I'm not saying we can't protect ourselves, of course we can and we can learn how to do this in a healthy way, and when to do it. However, when we start building walls with everyone, we don't let that vulnerable side of us come out. A side that naturally inspires men to protect! Is this starting to make sense? 

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• Feminist Energy: Don't get me wrong, we all love an empowered woman that knows her strengths and can prove them. However, I've seen this get out of hand. When a guy tries to open our door, give us flowers, serenade us, or show an act of chilvary, they get put down! Have you heard the typical response of, "I can open my own door, I'm an independent woman." Ladies, this not only makes a man feel like trash, but you are also stepping on their masculinity. Then that causes problems in the relationship because we then feel our man isn't being the detailed, attentive, gentleman we want. Let your man be there for you. Acts of chilvary have existed to show a lady that your man will always be there for you and even with little actions, prove to you, you will be provided for and protected. This is really what it means to have princess treatment you've always wanted. So yes, let them treat you like a princess, but also don't forget we want an interdependent relationship. Meaning, we also have our roles to fulfill, which I'll talk about in a bit.

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• Aggressiveness: Sometimes when we are mad, we all tend to get defensive or we tend to get aggressive. As a woman, it's super important to remember we are given a natural loving, nurturing strength. Which means that if we strive to focus on this at all times, we are able to work around issues in an easier manner. Getting aggressive and defensive only makes things worse. It's easier for us to keep our cool in this area than it is for men. Which doesn't mean it's a justification for men to be like that, it's not. But it does help keep control of the situation. This attitude will be an invite for a healthy discussion instead of an aggressive one. If a guy is truly in their masculine, there's no need for things to escalate. And if he does we can also talk about what to do in that scenario...

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• Toxicity: No one likes a toxic person. What does this mean through a feminine lense though? It means using that loving and caring strength we have, for ourselves. I know it sounds weird but hang on. Some people think jealousy is an indicator or definition of someone that loves, and cares for you. But simply, no. It's just proof of mistrust, and possessiveness. Being feminine means loving, and knowing yourself enough to be sure about what you're worth. You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. Being able to trust your man and get rid of jealousy only puts everything to your advantage. This shows your man a sense of confidence and love to him, and yourself. 

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• Interdependent Relationship: I mentioned earlier about being interdependent. But what does that exactly mean? First, let's tackle this by learning what the definition of Independent means. "Not depending on another's authority." I see how this word can be useful, but in relationships, things are different. Being interdependent means, being able to rely on one another, without expecting anything back. Now do you see how this can make a difference? By switching this perspective from not wanting to rely on one another, interdependency creates the space of, "Yes, you are my partner and I can rely on you, and you can rely on me, but I will never expect something in return." This promotes the meaning of what an actual relationship is. You become one with your partner and you "can" rely on each other, but if I do something and you don't, I shouldn't be expecting something back. Why? you may ask, that's what creates those negative reactions that lead to fights. Now let me go on a quick side tangent. This does nottt mean it's okay if your partner isn't taking care of their side of things. And we can talk about what to do if this happens, later on.

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